Alone_
by nouseforone
Summary: Dark fic, Dark subject, My version of what the day erased brought, if i get enough good reviews i will do a happier ending B/A sequel


My twisted little version about the aftermath of the day that wasn't. Not exactly the happiest fic ever written so read at your own risk. Also I _am _a fan of B/A, but I was reading a bunch of stories about the day and none really ended depressingly so I decided I'd write one. I might write a much happier sequel if I get enough reviews

Disclaimer- All characters, except Dr Rob, belong to Joss Whedon 

Alone

** "You. You alone will carry the memory of this day. Can you carry that burden?" she smiled sadly.

After a moment's consideration, Angel croaked out a yes. The oracles dismissed him and were left alone in the sanctuary.

"They don't deserve this" the female oracle hissed at her brother.

The male rolled his eyes in annoyance, "It is the way things are to happen. We can not change destiny."

"It will destroy her," she whispered.

"She will survive," he declared.

"But the child?"

"It is not our concern."**

-Three Months Later-

"BUFFY!" Willow hollered from her bed.

"Hmm?" Buffy tilted her head up.

"Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?" Willow sighed frustrated to no end at her best friend.

Quickly Buffy tried to remember, "Of course, you just screamed my name."

Willow glared, "And before that?"

Buffy's mouth opened to say something but shut it immediately knowing that it would only make Willow more ticked. Honestly she was thinking of other things. Like why all of a sudden she was hungry for cookie dough double mint chip ice-cream.

"I didn't think so," Willow huffed. "Well like I said I'm going to a friends, I'll see you later tonight. And you better be there cause this will be the last time I'll see you till you get back from San Francisco."

With that she stormed out of the room. Buffy shrugged and smiled. For a whole week she got to escape the responsibility of being her and go on a vacation. Giles had finally agreed to her constant begging and she had Riley and Willow to get notes for all the classes that she was going to miss.

Suddenly hit with the strangest desire to eat whatever was left in the fridge, Buffy jumped off the bed. Unfortunately she immediately fell back on the bed and grabbed her head. The world had suddenly decided to start spinning and wasn't slowing down. Buffy took a deep breath just as she passed out.

Within a few minutes the small slayer woke up and tried to figure out where she was. Sitting up Buffy realized she was still in the dorm on her bed and the world decided to stop spinning.

"Christ that was weird," Buffy slowly stood up.

This was the second time she passed out. She went to Giles the first time and he couldn't find anything magical involved with it. He suggested the doctor, but of course Buffy said no. Doctors reminded her of hospitals. Against her better judgement she decided the doctor was a good idea. She didn't want to pass out on her vacation after all.

-Doctors Office-

"Buffy Summers?" an obviously bored nurse yelled.

Glad to leave the uncomfortable seats, Buffy jumped up and walked over to the desk.

While filling her nails the nurse pointed down the hallway, "The doctors ready to see you. Third door to the right."

Following the directions, Buffy found the room and sat on a chair. A few old magazines were by the chair, but none of interest to her.

Before she could even start to think of what was wrong with her, the doctor walked into the room, "Ms. Summers?"

Buffy smiled lightly, "that's me."

"Well lets figure out what's wrong with you," the middle aged doctor started to read her charts. "So you have fainted twice. Any idea why?"

'Why else would I be here' Buffy thought. "No, not really."

"Hmm," the doctor rubbed his chin. "Have you been getting sick in the morning?"

Buffy shifted in her seat uncomfortably, "Sort of."

"Ms. Summers, when was the last you had your period?"

She knew where this was going. Not once had she even noticed the fact that for three months she had not had her period. She was so busy she had completely forgotten about it.

"Three months," Buffy squeaked out.

-The Dorm-

Buffy stumbled back into the room. She had just finished pretending everything was okay in front of all her friends. It was less pretending and more like lying. What else could she do? The first thing she did was collapse on her bed. The doctor had advised she go to the hospital to get an ultra sound to confirm his diagnosis. She was pregnant with a healthy baby and with no idea who the father was. Parker was five months ago, Riley and her had only started sleeping together recently, and her former fiancée Spike hadn't gotten that far, thank god.

"How did this happen?" Buffy glanced at her stuffed pig.

She couldn't talk to her friends about this yet so Mr. Gordo would have to do.

"What am I going t tell them?" Buffy got up and started to pace around the room. "Hey guys, guess what? I'm pregnant and don't know who the father is. That would just go over great. What should I do?"

Mr. Gordo just stared at her with a blank expression.

"A lot of help you are," Buffy glared. "I know what, I'll go to San Francisco and then figure out what to do when I get back!"

Still no word from the pig.

"What? It's a good idea," Buffy grumbled as she started to pack the items she forgot about.

After everything was safety packed, including Mr. Gordo, Buffy picked her large bags up easily and walked out of the dorm. Giles had promised to meet her outside Stevenson about five minutes ago and of course he was waiting in his ancient car. From the look on his face after everything was put in the car, it was quiet obvious he had been waiting.

Buffy got in the car and shut the door, "Ever thought of getting a new car?"

"Ever thought of getting a watch?" Giles grumbled as he pulled out on the road.

"I have one," Buffy shoved her wrist with a watch in his face. "See."

Pushing her arm out of his face Giles smiled, "I think it needs batteries."

"Oh," Buffy glanced at her dead watch. "Well the point is I have one."

They made small talk the entire way to the airport. The entire time Buffy was fighting the urge to just blurt out what was wrong with her. But she had firmly decided that now was not the time, if there even was a good time.

"I still don't see why you just didn't drive up there," Giles glared at the cars crowding the airport.

"With the car I don't have?" Buffy smirked.

After a string of obscene words from an obviously tired Giles, he managed to park in front of the airport. Buffy and Giles got out of the car and got the luggage.

Buffy watched Giles yawn, "Why don't you go home?"

"Thank you," Giles smiled.

"Goodbye Giles," Buffy whispered and flung herself into his embrace.

Kissing the top of her head, Giles smiled, "Buffy, It's only for a week."

She stepped back, "I know, I'm just gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you to," Giles handed her the last of the luggage. "Now get going. You are going to miss your flight."

"Bye," Buffy waved as she walked into the airport carrying an enormous amount of luggage.

Giles waved, got in his car, then drove back home.

-On the Plane-

After the uneventful checking in her luggage and all the other airplane stuff, Buffy was sitting in moderate comfort in the coach seats. One of these days she was going to be rich and fly first class she told herself. It was a short flight so no movie or anything that could distract her from the problems that plagued her life. Or better yet, lack of life. No ideas on whom the father was had presented themselves since she had found out.

'God I wish Angel was here,' Buffy moaned. 'Where did that come from? I have Riley now, I'm happy with Riley. Yeah and pigs fly. Angel would know what to say. He'd make this all better. Except that whole not wanting me part would probably get in the way, wouldn't it? He'd think I'm a slut, they all would.'

Buffy glanced out the window and tried to ignore the raging discussion going on in her head, 'I have finally gone insane. I carry on a conversation with a stuffed pig, out loud mind you, and now I'm having another fun filled conversation in my head. I hope my child isn't as screwed up as I am. _My child._ Oh God. I have a little person inside me. I'm going to be a mother.'

A giant smile spread across her face as she absent-mindedly rubbed her stomach, 'What will I name it? No its not an IT, I'm gonna guess boy, but maybe a girl. Well if the baby is a boy, the name will be Daniel Rupert Summers, but for a girl I think Cecilia Elizabeth Summers. Daniel sounds Irish right? Is Cecilia is a good name? I'll have to look into getting a baby name book. And an Apartment.'

For the rest of the plane ride, Buffy was listing the things that would need to be bought to accommodate the child. It wasn't such a scary thought to have the child anymore now that Buffy had come to realize a few things. Telling everyone didn't seem so hard either.

-San Francisco-

It was roughly around 12 at night when the plane landed. Buffy barely noticed she was so engrossed in thoughts about her child. Once they pulled into the gate, She managed to get out of the cramped plane with her carry on and idly walked down toward the luggage belt. Only a few feet away from the large crowed of people Buffy was suddenly hit with a stabbing pain. The carry on was dropped as she grabbed her stomach. The next thing she new she was hunched over on her knees trying to breath. Buffy didn't notice the people surronding her, asking her if she was okay. All that filtered through were thoughts of her child. Something was very wrong.

"AHHH!" Buffy screamed in pain as she fell unconscious to the floor.

-The Hospital-

The shrill beep of a monitor was the only proof that the young woman in the bed was alive. An ambulance had rushed the girl from the busy airport to the hospital. 

'To bad it was to late,' the doctor mused while glancing at the charts.

No form of identification could be found on the girl so no one was here to sit by her. She was alone.

They finished surgery hours ago. Now all that was left was to wait. To see if this blond haired girl would wake up.

'But will she want to?' the doctor sighed as he walked out of the room.

-Two Days Later-

Everyone in the hospital was amazed at the rate of recovery of the small girl. Most of the incisions from the surgery had healed completely. Not even a scar was present. All that was left was for her to wake up.

An elderly nurse walked over to check the girl's vitals when she heard a slight groan. Startled slightly she looked at the girl. Her eyelids twitched slightly then opened.

The nurse cautiously approached the girl, "Miss?"

The girl's head shot to where the voice had come from, "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. I'm going to get the doctor. Just stay still," the nurse raced out of the room.

Buffy raised her hand to find a glass of water. Her throat was sore from lack of use. Unfortunately no water was visible.

'Why am I in the hospital?' was the only thing Buffy could think.

She put all her energy into remembering the last day she did remember.

'I was at the airport!' Buffy grinned at her accomplishment of remembrance. 'I was happy, I was thinking about my baby.'

Buffy gasped in horror, "My baby."

Just then the doctor walked in. He was considerably younger than the last doctor, but Buffy didn't notice.

"My Baby," Buffy repeated.

"Ma'am, I'm Dr Robert James," Robert introduced.

Buffy didn't even hear him, "My baby's okay, right?"

"Nurse could you get her some water," Robert noticed her scratchy voice. "Ma'am you had severe internal damage. We managed to fix everything, but…"

Buffy's eyes widened in fear and she started to hysterically rant, "No. No it can't be. My baby's fine. You're lying. This is all a bad dream."

Roberts heart broke for the poor girl, "I'm sorry, we couldn't save him."

"No no no no no no no," Buffy chanted as she grabbed her head with her hands.

Without even realizing it Buffy broke down. Gut wrenching sobs racked her body and she had started to shake. Robert, not really knowing what to do, sat in the chair beside the bed and gently held her hand as the young girl in front of him cried for what could have been and what was.

-Three days later-

Buffy had been released from the hospital a day ago. She was alone in front of a tombstone. Robert had offered to call any relatives, but Buffy declined. They had their own lives to live. She couldn't deal with their accusing glares right now. Once she was out she had immediately called a funeral home and bought a small plot of land and a grave stone. They had put the coffin in earlier in the day. The stars were now looking down on her with pale tears.

"It's all my fault," Buffy whispered as she collapsed in front of the stone.

She was the slayer and she couldn't even save her own child. That was the one truth that Buffy had let sink in. The Doctors had said there was no medical explanation for what happened. Deep down she knew it wasn't, but for right now it had to be her fault.

For the first time since the initial breakdown at the hospital, Buffy allowed herself to cry.

The wind blew slightly causing a few leaves to rustle. She looked up at the noise, hopeful that her one true love would come and make this better. All that was there was an old tree coated in the blue light of the moon. She was still alone.

Rising slowly, Buffy glanced at the tomb:

Daniel Rupert Summers

Forever young

In a place of

Peace

2000

Buffy trembled slightly as she walked away. She would come back, that much was certain. But she couldn't tell the others. Not now, but maybe someday. Then they can yell at her for being careless and killing her child. Right now she couldn't deal with it. They wouldn't know. She would just put up her walls and pretend to be happy. It worked for Angel

All she wanted to do was run to her angel. Pray that he could make this better, but she couldn't. Today she couldn't deal with his rejection. Maybe one day she would. And maybe someday she would forgive herself. 


End file.
